Is it just me, or do some of you find yourselves still asking God to forgive you for things you should already have learned a long time ago? I may just be a seriously big bonehead and you all may have it down, but man I get frustrated with myself when I see God having to reteach me the same thing over and over.
So here's the deal; about three months ago I traded off my old Suburban because it was pushing 150,000 miles and was nickel and dimeing me to death. I got a 2004 Suburban with low mileage to replace the old one because I was tired of spending so much money on it. So I have this thing a few months with no problems, but two days ago I walk out to go to work and it won't start. Lately it's felt like the Enemy has been pretty focused on messing with me, and this event ended up being the crowning blow it took to set me off, which means his focus worked, something that just flat ticks me off because I hate it when he gets even the smallest victories. So I'm sitting there in my new truck that won't start, because the fuel pump is out, and in GM's infinite wisdom they put the pump inside the gas tank, that's covered with half a Suburban, and costs a small fortune to change, sorry I digress, so I'm sitting there being frustrated with God because He should know how tight things are, being infuriated at the stupid truck, and my choice to buy it, and basically feeling pretty darn sorry for myself. So how does "Pastor John" react to this situation, he has a hissy fit that ends with him throwing a handful of mail across the kitchen. Now bear in mind folks that I'm a man with a calling on my life to serve the Lord in full time professional ministry, a ministry mind you, that includes counseling people on issues, well, very much like this one.
So I call Pastor Dave for a ride to church, and as soon as I get to church I pull out my Bible and journal, because I obviously needed to pray. So what doe's God do while I'm praying about my meltdown, He reminds me of my visit to see Pastor Brian the day before who is in the hospital suffering from ALS and has breathing and feeding tubes in him. Picture all the blood in your body rushing out of you all at once, that's exactly what it felt like. Talk about a lesson in humility.
Dave and I were joking the other day about whether there was going to be a time in our lives when God might be able to start teaching us some things in a little less painful manner. I guess for me at least, it seems like maybe God will start treating me like and grown up Christian, when I start acting like one.
Some would say were sinners living in a broken world, and because of that things like this are just bound to happen, and while that may be true on some level, trusting God no matter what the situation, is a lesson God has proven himself faithful in my life way too many times for me to have reacted this way. See I don't think God wants my excuses, I believe He just wants me to man up and get this down once and for all.
So here's a tough question for you; what is it in your life that God wants you to get down once and for all?